Occupy Walmart

Now I'm not talking about the self proclaimed 99% that makes up the occupy movement. No I am talking about a group that, if asked why they were camping out in front of corporate and retail giants, could rise up with a single voice and answer. And the answer would be sales! All the otherwise rational people lining sidewalks outside Walmarts, Targets, and malls all over the country awaiting the opening of the Black Friday sales.

Here in Dallas there is a woman already camped by the front door of her local target so she is in the pole position when the green flag goes off a midnight. She says being a stay at home mom allows her the freedom to devote so much time, which includes missing Thanksgiving with her family, to be the first one to have access to the deals that will be available.

Of course most of these occupiers won't go to this extreme but they will start lining up on Thanksgiving day while the pie is still being served and the games are still on TV. As I am just coming out of my turkey coma and eyeing the kitchen for what else I can fit into my miserable body they will be holding the line, fueled by pumpkin lattes and armed with stacks of advertisements. Gradually they will crowd closer and closer to the door of their hunting ground until they are crammed up against it like the front rows of a concert. The workers inside will mill around watching the growing sea of stupidity at their doors until one brave worker goes over and opens the flood gate at midnight. At this point all bets are off... all humanity is out the window... forget Thanksgiving or Christmas or civility. At this point these people will be about as base as people get. People will be trampled. People will be injured. People will get in fights. All of this will be for the chance to purchase merchandise that has been available all year and will be available again before Christmas and at prices that have proven to be higher than they will be in the 14 days before Christmas.

I have never gone. 30 minutes in a Walmart and I am ready to commit homicide so I cant imagine what standing on line for hours then rushing in with those people would do to me... or them. I would speculate I will never go. For those that are going to brave it and make the trip out on Black Friday despite the fact that the hours are ridiculous, the prices are no better than will be available on cyber-Monday or later, and the people will be this years cast of People of Walmart I assume you are going for the thrill of the hunt. If this is you then happy hunting and and Happy Thanksgiving.